"Ian was always my little brother, but he always looked out for me. He was a great influence on
his little brother who idolised him I will miss him forever" - Kayleigh, Ian's sister.
Ian was a funny, loving son, dad and friend. There is never a day when he is not thought about by many. At his funeral the church was packed. It is a testament to a young man who made his family proud.
Sadly, Ian, like a lot of other young people had complex trauma. Some of these traumas were hidden by Ian himself for many years and these internalised thoughts proved to be a major factor in his passing.
Ian asked for professional, medical help but did not get it in time. The coroner commented on the poor communication between various organisations within the NHS who seemed incapable of talking to each other. He really wanted to be well, he wanted a future for him and his family. He was due to get some specialist help but for reasons we will never know he decided he could not continue. Ian's last employer discarded him after he revealed he was on medication for depression. Mental ill health is still seen as a failing and is a stigma to many.
Problems can be caused by both chemical imbalances in the brain, physical issues or through traumatic events. Ian had problems of ADHD and other issues in his life which caused so much pain - pain he could not erase.
There will be others like Ian, please if you think a friend or loved one is in trouble, listen to them and try to help. Sometimes all it needs is an ear. Never give up on them.
Likewise there will be others like us, trying to cope with an empty void in our lives. The worst thing a grieving friend or relative needs is for their own friends to shy away for fear of saying the wrong thing. Support is so badly needed and we have made it our mission to always be there for those in crisis.