To provide a safe haven for those suffering from the effects of suicide
To provide support for those grieving by listening or guiding them to a professional counselling service
To use our own tragedy to try and prevent it happening to others
To support other organisations working towards the same goals through joint fund raising
To purchase a motor caravan so families can be away from the prying eyes of others so they can remember their loved one however they wish
The indescribable pain and shock when you learn of a loved one taking their own life, making that choice themselves is indescribable.
The feeling of guilt and helplessness can strike at any time, a certain smell, a certain song, a TV programme can remind you of how much you miss a person. This hurts. It always will.
For those left behind it is a matter of coping, surviving.
Friends can shun you, not knowing what to say, other family members can suffer from depression and other stress related illnesses.
Effects of suicide
"Ian was always my little brother, but he always looked out for me. He was a great influence on
his little brother who idolised him I will miss him forever" - Kayleigh, Ian's sister.
Mental illness can manifest itself in different ways. Sometimes, like in Ian's case, you just cannot see it as all appears fine. He tried to hide his anguish and pain. Most people with mental illness are great at masking it.
Ian asked for professional, medical help but did not get it in time. The coroner commented on the poor communication between various organisations within the NHS who seemed incapable of talking to each other. He really wanted to be well, he wanted a future for him and his family. He was due to get some specialist help but for reasons we will never know he decided he could not continue.
Problems can be caused by both chemical imbalances in the brain, physical issues, or through traumatic events. Ian had problems of ADHD, possible Tourettes, and other issues in his life which caused so much pain.
To see his daughters photo book called Alyssia and Daddy being so treasured by her at such as young age is a testament of the love between them but also just what an influence he will continue to be in her life.
There will be others like Ian, please if you think a friend or loved one is in trouble listen to them and try to help. Sometimes all it needs is an ear. Never give up on them.
Likewise there will be others like us, trying to cope with an empty void in our lives. The worst thing a grieving friend or relative needs is for their own friends to shy away for fear of saying the wrong thing. Support is so badly needed, a hand held, a tear dried or an ear given.